I've always loved Halloween. The kids, the costumes, the pumpkin patches, and the beautiful fall colors. Last year this time, we were hoping Austin would be here before Halloween so we could dress him up in a cute little outfit. I delayed us buying an outfit, because his due date wasn't til November 4th. We had decided to get one if he came early, and if not, well.... it was ok too. Thinking this Halloween would be more fun. Unfortunately that is not the case. Brian and I are having to go through another first without our sweet Austin. Our first Halloween without our baby boy. A baby that would be crawling and trying to walk at this time. A baby that would be learning how to say mommy and daddy, and many other words and sounds in our crazy world.
October 21st is approaching faster than we want it too. We knew this day was gonna come, we just don't know how we will feel on that day. We miss our baby boy so so much. Each day continues to be a struggle of ups and downs. Brian and I manage to take it day-by-day. Some days I just don't know how we are going to make it to the next. The pain may be more bearable, but the pain of not having your child continues to weigh heavily on our hearts.
Thinking about Austin as I drove to my counseling appointment today, what should be Austin's 1st Birthday is only 14 days away.
God, Please help us as we approach Austin's 1st Birthday without him.