Monday, May 16, 2011

The Question

I was going to write about "the question" a while back, but never got around to it. I figured it was "the question" I would always have to deal with being pregnant and then once our sweet little Andrew arrives. However, for some reason "the question" has come up in conversation more than I would like these last few weeks. Yes, I understand I will always answer "the question" depending on my mood or what might keep the conversation going or have the conversation end. Mostly I like when people just say cool, and move on. However, lately "the question" has interested people (complete strangers) to keep digging.

"The Question" as I call it, that leads into a journal of questions is...... "Is this your first child?"

Which leads me into this type of conversation with a complete stranger.

Me: "No its my 2nd child."

Stranger: Oh, do you know what you're having?

Me: Yes, a boy!

Stranger: What is your first child?

Me: A boy!

Stranger: Oh you are destine to have all boys. So will you try for a girl one day?

Me: I guess. We might, trying to have this baby boy first.

Stranger: So how old is your first child? And aren't you glad you don't have to go through the summer heat pregnant.

Ok, this is the part that makes me want to get up and walk away, but I know people are just trying to be nice. Most of the time the conversation will end with me saying its a boy and yes, we are excited to have 2 baby boys. But when the person continues to ask questions, I've found that its just easier to keep them thinking that Austin is still here. I'm not necessarily lying, but it keeps the smiles and not the reaction of oh my gosh I'm so sorry.

I really wish people wouldn't be so damn noisy. I'm not afraid to tell my story of Austin, it actually brings a lot of joy to me to talk about him. But for some reason, people feel the need to keep pushing, when they should just shut-up.

I had a lady at the beach a few weeks back, talk about what happens while you're in labor. She was going on and on and on, and I tried to keep the conversation flowing the best I could without her asking me the dreaded questions. Then she asked how big my first child was today, that's when I had to tell her, I lost my first child at 3 months. Of course the look on her face was like she had saw a ghost. She teared up and walked away. She assumed that this was my first child from the start and continued to dig the hole deeper and deeper with her conversation. She even said at one time, "you just gotta push that baby out and they will be there for you to hug and kiss forever." I know she meant well, but I wish she had just left the whole situation alone.

Oh the joy of complete strangers asking innocent questions. Kind of like the saying, "Don't judge a book by its cover." People need not to assume, everyone has the same happily ever after.


1 comment:

  1. And unfortunately the questions will follow us the rest of our lives. If Collen and I are out somewhere, I usually get asked, "Is this your only child?" And I answer, "No, he is our second." And sometimes they ask further, and I have to explain our situation....which leads into, "Oh, I'm so sorry."...and awkwardness...sometimes. Other times I get, "Oh, then you're an old pro!" or "Oh, you must have your hands full!" To which I'm left saying...."I wish."

    It's normal for people to assume the best...especially when they see a nice, big baby bump...but as you and I both know, those baby bumps sometimes come with a lot of heartache and a lot of hope all at the same time.

    Can't wait to "meet" Andrew!! Take care and enjoy these last few days. I know you can't wait to have him in your arms. Take it one day at a time, and don't feel silly about being terrified or anxious...I'm still there...just a day by day process.

    Thinking of you guys!